A Renewed Spirit By Sandy B., British Columbia

At 10 o'clock on a Friday night I had just gotten up off the floor. That's where I felt the most comfortable when I was sad and lonely. My life had fallen back into the boring pattern of waiting for my husband to come home so I could feel secure. I was explaining these feelings to my dog when suddenly I thought about Step One.

Why didn't Step One work both ways? If I was powerless over the alcoholic, wasn't the alcoholic powerless over me? If that was the case, why did I continue to feel so controlled by this person? It didn't seem fair that the person I lived with could influence my feelings so easily when he appeared to have so little concern for how I felt.

The more I thought about my powerlessness over the alcoholic, the less power I felt he had over me. Slowly my body regained its life and my spirit felt renewed. Needless to say, I had the Al-Anon program to thank once more. Without the tools to keep me moving steadily forward, I would have remained on the floor.

Before Al-Anon, I had similar feelings of abandonment and didn't know how to cope. For many years, I stayed in a constant state of depression. When I found the Al-Anon program, my life took on a new and exciting meaning. I developed the self-confidence to seek out interesting challenges, and relied less on other people to bring meaning into my life.

None of this means that my life is one big bowl of cherries. I'm human, too. But now when I find myself on the floor it doesn't take long before I pick myself up and tackle another challenge - such as writing to The Forum.

Edmonton Al-Anon Information Service P.O. Box 1375 Edmonton, Alberta, T5J 2N2 (780) 433-1818 (24 hours)

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.