Al-Anon Keeps Me Sane By Diane B, Michigan

After sharing with Al-Anon members about my marital confusion, I walked out of meetings feeling like I was worth something. I told myself, "I AM worth something. I am a precious child of God--worthy of recovery!" When my spouse once again turned his back on recovery, slipping into his disease three months into our latest reconciliation, an Al-Anon friend suggested I not make any major decision about my marriage right away.

After much prayer and meditation, working the Steps to the best of my ability and attending many meetings, I came to the conclusion that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was worth more than the poor way I had allowed myself to be treated. The way I looked at it, I wasn't giving up on my marriage--if I stayed in this chaotic relationship, I'd be giving up on myself. I didn't fail. I didn't decide to divorce my husband--I divorced his disease.

I don't advocate divorce to Al-Anon members whose troubled marriages resemble mine. I must admit there are times I'm tempted to ask "Why do you choose to stay in a life of turmoil?" But I know complete separation isn't for everyone. It was a long struggle for me to choose the road I took in order to open a new chapter in my life.

My ex-husband said to me after our divorce became final, "Now you don't have to go to Al-Anon anymore!" It just showed that he never understood what this program is about. Al-Anon keeps me sane. I continue to attend so I can learn, grow, recover, serve, listen and share my experience, strength and hope. I even continue to make mistakes. After all, my goal is progress, not perfection. I continue to I pray for him - that he grasps his recovery program so he, too, can experience serenity.

After seven years of Al-Anon and almost two years of being single, I am learning that I am the only person who is responsible for my happiness.

Edmonton Al-Anon Information Service P.O. Box 1375 Edmonton, Alberta, T5J 2N2 (780) 433-1818 (24 hours)

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.