I Can Trust By Darlene A., Connecticut

"I was so hurt by the alcoholic's broken promises that I became self-reliant."

When I first came to Al-Anon, I didn't trust anyone or anything. I was so hurt by the alcoholic's broken promises that I became self-reliant. I was determined not to trust anyone, so I wouldn't let anyone get close.

Slowly the Al-Anon program worked for me. I learned I could trust that meetings would begin and end on time. When I made plans to meet program friends for coffee, they would show up. These small successes gave me the courage to reach out and allow more people to get close enough to help me.

A major step was asking someone to be my sponsor. Could I really trust that I could tell a sponsor anything and that it would be okay? Slowly our relationship became stronger. My walls came down and I allowed myself to get the help I needed. Soon I was sharing frequently at meetings, trusting in the blue card that said, "Whom you see here, What you hear here, When you leave here, Let it stay here." Now I have a circle of Al-Anon friends on whom I can depend. When a challenging situation arises I don't hesitate to pick up the phone for support and suggestions. I know my Al-Anon friends will not judge me. No one will tell me what I should do.

I've learned that I can also trust myself. I trust myself not to react. Instead, I can reach for one of the Al-Anon tools. I can detach, Live and Let Live or use the Al-Anon "hmm." Most importantly, now I have my own Higher Power who is always with me. I turn to her daily in prayer. When I meditate I find the peace and serenity I need to make choices that are appropriate for me. The program works when I allow it to.

Edmonton Al-Anon Information Service P.O. Box 1375 Edmonton, Alberta, T5J 2N2 (780) 433-1818 (24 hours)

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.